Someone’s probably in love with you right now, even though you think you’re boring and stupid and smell bad most of the time, someone probably saw you last week and wiped their sweaty hands on the insides of their pockets and thought about your body under your clothing and about how you would look asleep in their bed
75, what are you going to do when you grow up? Write books, hopefully. Or at least do something creative.
81, my zodiac sign is: leo
68, the worst sound in the world: when Styrofoam does the thing
120, gay marriage: is none of my business; I don’t go around telling people which ice cream flavor to pick as their favorite, so I’m not gonna go around telling people who to love
109, gas prices: don’t even talk to me about this. Four bucks a gallon like, what, are you filling up my tank with liquid gold?
146, chocolate or vanilla: chocolate (hands down)
138, ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: ugly and rich because you can’t hear haters over the roar of a Lamborghini engine
158, gay marriage: why is this here twice?
172, are you taller than your mom? Ha. Yes. By like half a foot.
I don’t get it. What do the numbers represent?
A group of guys went through one of my friend’s bag without her permission and found a pad. Instead of apologizing, they had the decency to mock her about it. And now she had a breakdown and is terrified to go back to school. Tomorrow may be the first day that I’m looking forward to go to school; my friend is bringing popcorn to watch what I do to those guys.
I can’t beat them up physically cuz I’m a student and I’ll probably go to juvi. I guess my sassy mouth may come in handy for once.
maybe the little bruises and cuts that show up on your body seemingly out of nowhere are actually little injuries that happened to your soulmate and you get the same marks on your skin as them
write a book
The second Albert Einstein is on their way
the Scared is scared
‘I asked a six year old what my movie should be about, and this is what he told me.’
(go watch this NOW)
I don’t even know how to respond to this
these are making me feel better
I can’t even
ads for pads these days are all about how thin and discreet pads are and how no one will ever be tell you’re wearing them wELL HOW ABOUT YOU MAKE THE PACKAGING QUIETER BECAUSE THERE’S NO FUCKING POINT IN HAVING A THIN DISCREET PAD WHEN EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU RIPPING ONE OPEN IN THE SCHOOL BATHROOM
Use the men’s room they won’t expect it
'Who the fuck is eating chips in here?'
It ain't over 'til it's over (¬‿¬)
The way she’s running for the finish line is more comical than the girl putting her arms up to cheer victory
I was signing up for a rose to be sent to my crush on valentines day at my school when I saw him buying a rose with another girls name in the paper
accent marks and italics can make any word look beautiful
This is my kind of card.
PIZZA WOULD NOT APPROVE
This is probably the most offensive conspiracy between two cheaters
Justin Bieber’s legal representation.
I keep saying I’ll stop reblogging these things but then something funnier happens.
I highly doubt Bieber’s mindless brain has the capability of absorbing Carrey’s statement, when he endangered many peoples’ lives by drunk driving.